A couple months back I wrote a post on “why we’re waiting for sex till marriage.” Well, we’re married (heyyyyyyooooooo). And this blog wouldn’t be called Candidly Melissa if I wasn’t a little… candid. It was a MIRACLE from God alone that Andrew and I were able to wait until our wedding night, but we did it, and I am so happy we did.
I’m not going to get all gross now and go into details (because that’s weird), but I just wanted to say how amazing it is when you do things the right way and wait for each other. Don’t get me wrong; it was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do, but now because of how special that moment was and seeing how much God has blessed our relationship because of it, I know it is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!
As I said in my other blog post, I wish more than anything I could say that Andrew was the first and only man I ever gave my heart and body to. Unfortunately, he was not, although I don’t believe it is ever too late to start obeying God. Just because I wasn’t a virgin, didn’t mean that I was “ruined.” Losing my virginity wasn’t a choice I made, it was something taken from me (as sadly many of you reading this I’m sure can relate to). However, the biggest lie in the world that I believed for far too long was that I was “un-pure already, so I may as well keep having sex.” I knew it was wrong, I knew I was disobeying God, I always felt terrible afterward, but I used the excuse of “I’m not a virgin anyways” to justify what I was doing. Obviously you will never be held accountable for the actions of others that you can’t control; however, you will be responsible for the choices you make after that point. If this is something you’re currently dealing with, please know that it is possible to make the decision to stop and wait still. It’s not easy, but I promise it’s worth it.
Andrew and I had grown so intimate in our relationship with each other without sexual intimacy that when we added that in, it was only that much better. The foundation of our relationship was not great sex; it was an incredible friendship. Deep rooted, romantic, passionate friendship. We had such respect for one another emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It was the first relationship I have ever been in where I knew without a doubt that he loved me for nothing other than just for being me, not anything I could give him. When we finally had sex our wedding night, it wasn’t this crazy raunchy sex you see on “50 Shades of Grey”. It was a perfect, holy, BEAUTIFUL experience with someone I was insanely and madly in love with and who had just committed to loving me for the rest of his life. It was EXACTLY the way that God created it to be.
The world has turned sex into something dirty sinful and wrong, but in the right context, it’s one of God’s greatest gifts to mankind. I think it’s about time Christians stop letting the world tell us what sex is all about and we need to tell the world what sex truly is all about. Sex inside of marriage is the best thing ever!!!
It takes a lot of prayers and a ton of accountability around you to be able to decide to wait, but if a mess like me can do it, I believe anyone can. If you’re currently having sex in your relationship but feel you shouldn’t be, it is NEVER too late to start obeying God and living with a clear conscience. Freedom is not “being able to do whatever your flesh wants to do”, freedom is living without guilt, shame, and condemnation. Sin has the greatest appeal, but once you’re outside of it, you can see that it is the truest form of bondage.
I say all of this to hopefully encourage even one person that YOU CAN DO IT, and it is so so so worth it to wait. If the man/woman that you are with does not respect that decision, then they do not respect nor deserve YOU!
You are valuable, you are important, you are deserving, you are enough.
– Melissa Aziz-Soule