The majority of my life I have always asked myself, “what’s next?”. I remember being in second grade staring at the mirror and saying, “once I’m a third grader…”, and almost every year after that doing the same thing. In elementary wanting to be in Junior High, in Junior High wanting to be in High School, in High School wanting to go to Theology School, in Theology School wanting to be working full time, as a full-time photographer at eighteen wanting to be twenty-one, twenty-one wanting to be married.
For the first time in my life, I’m content exactly where I am. I’ve now been married for three months, and the natural pull would be for me to buy a car without a lease, to purchase a home, to have children. But, no. I’ve decided to live in this moment right here and right now. Because when I get that house, I’ll want a bigger one; when I have those children, I’ll want grandchildren, unless I choose to embrace the present. Life is far too short only to be hoping for the future and not living in the present. There are so many precious moments in life that we will miss if we are always looking towards something else.
Since I was ten years old, I’ve wanted to be a missionary/evangelist. I would set up all of my teddy bears and preach to them using my whiteboard (true story) :). I would cry every time I saw a picture of poor African children. I’ve written hundreds of sermons since in too many journals to count. There’s truly nothing more that I would want with my life. I’ve been confused for years why God has not opened the doors for those opportunities. Being in Mexico for four months last year, I honestly never thought I would come back to America and that I finally found my destiny, but God had a different plan. Although I don’t know when God will open the doors for me to do what I feel like I am truly called to do, I know that He has put it on my heart for the last 15 years for a reason. What I have come to the realization of though is that I may not be ready for that. Perhaps God is preparing me now, and if He were to just “lay that in my lap” I wouldn’t be able to handle it. God convicted me of what I am doing currently TODAY to move in that direction. I don’t need to be preaching to millions to fulfill what God has for me. Today, all I need to do is live for Jesus and allow Him to prepare my heart, my mind, and my soul for whatever He has for me. If I can’t be consistent in my bible/prayer reading times in growing closer to Jesus NOW, those habits aren’t going to come automatically when I have a “ministry platform.” Those need to be developed today. I need to love people like I’m pastoring them today.
My prayer for myself is that each and every day I would live in the present, and consciously put Jesus first while I do my part to take small steps towards my dreams (instead of just sitting around wishing I were already there).
The Bible says it best, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and He will provide you with everything that you need. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.” -Matthew 6:33-34
Enjoy today my friends!